I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize