I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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