I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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