We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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