oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just had sex bonerless
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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