well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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