The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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