So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet