Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back