if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
