idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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