he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
