at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
