So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
