I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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