Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
