U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
