yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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