It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize