I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
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Can you bring me the toilet please
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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