I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize