She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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