Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize