is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need a hoe opinion
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.