What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
