walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize