I can text with my tongue
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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