Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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