Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
50% drunk capacity currently
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
