i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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