I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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