whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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