Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
