Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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