Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
