I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize