can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize