yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize