so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize