Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize