I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize