ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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