Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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