doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
