he puts the penis in happiness.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
