Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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