I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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