You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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