Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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