I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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