you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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